Sex and Arthritis.
Last updated Thursday, February 10, 2005
Figure 1 - Both partners lying on side. The man is behind. The woman can have a pillow between her knees. This position is good when the woman has hip problems. Figure 2 - The woman lies on her back, knees together, with pillow under hips and thighs. The man supports his own body weight on his hands and knees. This can be used when the woman has hip or knee problems, or is unable to move her legs apart. Figure 3 - Side position with partners facing each other. Can be used if man has back problems. Figure 4 - The woman lies on her back with knees flexed. This can be used when the woman has severe contractures. Figure 5 - Both partners stand. The man is behind. The woman uses furniture at a comfortable height for support and balance. Figure 6 - The woman kneels, her upper body supported by furniture. Her knees can be supported by a pillow. May be helpful when the woman has hip problems. Not good if shoulders are involved. Figure 7 - The man lies on his back. He may use pillows for support. The woman can support her own body weight on her elbows and/or knees. This can be used when the man has hip or knee problems. Body positions and techniquesFinding new positions Finding new positions for intercourse can put less strain on painful joints and, in turn, improve your sex life.
The usual position with one partner on his or her back, and the
other on top, can be very uncomfortable, especially if the one (or
both) of the partners has arthritis in the hip, knee, leg, or arm. If
you have had joint replacement surgery, talk to your doctor about when
to resume sexual activity and which positions will be most comfortable
for you. Here are some ways to find a comfortable position:
Have your partner provide most of the body action, if movement
causes you pain. You may prefer a position which allows you to move
away if you suddenly have joint pain.
Think about what you do to make yourself more comfortable when you
are lying in bed. Perhaps these changes of position can be adapted to
your lovemaking, for greater comfort and increased pleasure for you and
your partner.
Use the following descriptions for new ideas about different
positions. Since people differ in height, weight, strength, and degree
of arthritis, the exact arrangement of the bodies suggested will not
accommodate everyone's needs. However, they are good starting points
from which you may begin to find new freedom. As you experiment with
this freedom, tell one another how comfortable and satisfied you are
with a new position. The goal is to work together for your mutual
pleasure and comfort.
Figure 1:
Both partners lying on side. The man is behind. The woman can have a
pillow between her knees. This position is good when the woman has hip
problems.
Figure 2:
The woman lies on her back, knees together, with pillow under hips and
thighs. The man supports his own body weight on his hands and knees.
This can be used when the woman has hip or knee problems, or is unable
to move her legs apart. Figure 3: Side position with partners facing each other. Can be used if man has back problems. Figure 4: The woman lies on her back with knees flexed. This can be used when the woman has severe contractures. Figure 5: Both partners stand. The man is behind. The woman uses furniture at a comfortable height for support and balance. Figure 6:
The woman kneels, her upper body supported by furniture. Her knees can
be supported by a pillow. May be helpful when the woman has hip
problems. Not good if shoulders are involved. Figure 7:
The man lies on his back. He may use pillows for support. The woman can
support her own body weight on her elbows and/or knees. This can be
used when the man has hip or knee problems.
Alternate ways to enjoy sex There are many satisfying ways, other than intercourse, to make love
and to have your body respond to sexual stimulation. Some of these may
be familiar to you; others less so. All are normal, natural expressions
of human sexuality. These alternate sexual activities can be a welcome
solution when you're having arthritis pain.
Sensation, pleasure and satisfaction do not depend on penetration of
the penis deep into the vagina. For example, the end of the penis is
its most sensitive part. The clitoris and opening to the vagina are far
more sensitive than the interior of the vagina. Men often feel that an
erection and penetration of the woman's vagina are necessary to please
his partner. But this is not necessarily so. Many women find greater
satisfaction through genital stimulation, either manually or orally.
Women may have a problem with decreased lubrication causing the
vagina to be dry, which makes intercourse uncomfortable. The decreased
lubrication may be caused by certain medications, by some diseases like
lupus, scleroderma and Sjogren's syndrome,
or can be a natural change due to aging. Using a vaginal lubricant will
make entry of the penis easier in any position. A word of caution:
petroleum jelly products and other oily substances are not recommended
because they may harbor germs which could cause infection. It's best to
use a germ-free lubricant, such as K-Y Jelly or Steri-lube. These are
available without a prescription.
At times when you are not able to have sexual intercourse in the
usual way, you can still enjoy your sexuality. Other ways to express
affection can excite the body and bring sexual enjoyment.
Manual sex
If there are times when sexual intercourse is not possible because
of pain, you and your partner can still enjoy lovemaking. Caressing
with your hands, manual sex, can be a satisfying alternative to sexual
intercourse. Fondling, stroking the genitals, breasts, and all areas of
sensitivity, can excite you both to orgasm with fulfillment as complete
as intercourse. You may enjoy your orgasm together, or take turns. If
your hands are swollen and sore, you can still embrace and gently
caress your loved one as he or she stimulates his or her own genitals
to climax. Your warmth, caring, and reassuring embrace convey fully the
love you desire to give.
If your hands are affected, a vibrator provides another alternative
for sexual pleasure. It may be the kind of vibrator found in small
appliance departments which is used for light massage of the neck or
face. Another type is the tube-shaped vibrator, which is lighter and
easier to handle. These are available at some stores or through mail
order.
Moving the vibrator gently over the sensitive areas of your
partner's body, especially against the underside of the penis or
clitoris, will quickly bring about sexual pleasure. A word of caution,
however--it is possible that the vibrator may irritate tender genitals
if used frequently or too long. You may want to lubricate with a
sterile jelly, or use a clean handkerchief between the vibrator and the
area to be stimulated. People whose skin is thin and dry or tender
should not use this device frequently, if at all.
Oral sex
Oral sex is the use of the tongue and mouth directly on the genitals
to bring pleasure to your partner. It may be a new idea to you, but
it's an approach to sexual fulfillment which can be very stimulating.
Sexual satisfaction for one partner
Despite one's best efforts, there may be times when you have no
interest in sex or cannot become sexually aroused. At these times, you
still may want to provide for the needs of your partner. For some, the
alternate methods suggested here may be the answer. As you learn more
about what your partner enjoys, you will gain confidence in the fact
that you can bring pleasure and fulfillment to your partner.
Sexual satisfaction on your own
Masturbation, or self-stimulation, is a very common, healthy, and
satisfying form of sexual activity. It provides valuable reinforcement
and reassurance concerning your own personal sexuality. It can also
increase responsiveness during intercourse.
Just as you would for sexual activity with a partner, prepare for
this sexual experience by assuring yourself of privacy. You may wish to
create an intimate atmosphere by listening to soft music, just as you
might with a partner, or by reading erotic materials or looking at
erotic pictures. Being rested and taking pain medicine ahead of time
may also help you to be more comfortable. Self-stimulation is done by
stroking or rubbing the sexually sensitive areas of your body. If your
fingers are swollen or painful due to arthritis, you can use a vibrator.
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