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Families and arthritis.

Last updated Monday, January 03, 2005

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Teamwork

How can a family affected by arthritis learn to share responsibilities?

Families often find that in order to manage the arthritis properly, they need to create new ways of doing things. Think of the family as a team, working together with a common goal.

Each member has an important part to play and a job to do. Small children and adults as well can understand this approach. Giving everyone a voice will help create a sense of responsibility and teamwork. It will also lessen the need for your relative to have to ask for help again and again.

To begin with, sit down together and evaluate the household chores. As you talk and plan, be specific. Decide what tasks will have to be done by whom and when they will need to be completed.

For example, maybe a teenage son can collect and take out the garbage and mow the lawn on Tuesdays. Perhaps a teenage daughter can wash and fold clothes and put them away on Thursdays. Some families find that using a chart of household chores is useful.

Take a good look at the chores your relative used to do. Perhaps with a few changes they can still be done. If your loved one always cooked the meals, maybe he or she can still handle it.

Here are some cooking tips for a person with arthritis:

  • Fix double amounts and freeze one meal.
  • Prepare for the week ahead on the weekends, so the entire family may be able to help.
  • Make simpler meals so that the children can help.
  • Use more frozen or packaged foods.
  • Reorganize the kitchen. Adapt handles on cupboards and drawers. Use lightweight utensils.
  • Use aids such as faucet grips, jar openers, and reach extenders to make tasks easier.

In addition, take a good look at holiday rituals and other family customs. Perhaps with physical limitations they are no longer possible. Or maybe they are still possible, but need to be changed slightly.

Realize that you may need household help sometimes. When the father or mother is in bed, someone may be needed to cook and care for the children. When a person who is living alone has a flare, he or she will need help with shopping, cleaning, or cooking. Usually these situations can be handled by a part-time housekeeper or homemaker for a few weeks or months at a time.

How can a family affected by arthritis learn to be flexible?

Learn to be flexible and make short-term plans for outings, trips, and other special events. Create back-up plans in case your spouse or relative isn't feeling well enough to take part. Being flexible allows the family to create a workable situation so that the impact of arthritis is lessened.

Here a woman explains how her family created a slightly different way of doing things:

    "Our family liked softball. The children were always on the team and Al often coached. We were all involved. The children and I would watch the team play and we often had a picnic at the park afterwards. We were really good--we won several trophies! Then when Al got severe osteoarthritis, he couldn't be as active as he once was. We were all disappointed and sad when he couldn't coach anymore. But Al loved softball so much, and knew what it meant to the family. We still attend every game, and discuss all the details about it afterwards. We still have picnics and still have a good time--even though Al's involvement is different. Sure we had to make some slight changes, but we were determined not to give up softball!"

By changing family routines slightly, life can be made as normal as possible. Arthritis may not seem like such an intrusion.


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